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A practicing attorney and semi-professional musician, Walker writes for his own amusement, for the sake of opinion, to garner a couple of laughs, and to perhaps provoke a question or two, but otherwise, he doesn't think it'll amount to much.

chief white house correspondent
member since 2.24.00


finding the line between young and old
read at your own risk, because once you get it, you might know you're old, too
9.14.12 : feature!

It is an undeniable truth harbored by the young: getting old is not cool! “I don’t want to grow up” is more than just a slogan for “Toys ‘R’ Us”; young people tend to believe that old people are generally boring, and do boring things, and talk about boring stuff. And most any kid, even if they love their parents and grandparents, both fear and loathe the idea of becoming old themselves.

Of course, kids desire all of the stuff that comes with being grown up, like having their own place, the ability to drive, income, and beer. That stuff is pretty cool, but actually becoming older is not. Because being old is. not. cool.

At least, that's what young people would say. It's nice to know now what idiots kids are. As I approach my 38th birthday later this year, I can see, feel, and hear old cramping up my youthful style. Let’s review a few examples:

(1) I used to know all the modern Pop and Rock acts, but if I look at the Billboard “Top 1... 
read on


the little red obama
obama is working, while everyone else sits on their ass
6.14.12 : feature!
open letter to mitt romney - what you need to do to win
will the old mitt romney please stand up
5.14.12 : feature!
he who said that 'talk is cheap' has never hired a lawyer
the day job i don’t usually talk about
4.12.12 : feature!
gaining your perspective
what is intrepid to the reader?
3.19.12 : feature!
hands off my brown bag
when politics and your kids' lunch cross paths
2.22.12 : feature!
--view all columns--


1. the men who stare at boobs
an open letter to ty mcdowell
: feature!
2. hot for teacher vs. burn the witch
jeff rants about the line between protecting students and running sexy teachers out of town
11.20.09 : feature!
3. speaking with a knut
polar bears invite themselves into your home
4.16.07 : feature!
4. from such great heights, come down
the fall into reality continues
12.14.11 : feature!
5. legalizing prostitution?
lessons learned from pornography... really
4.15.02 : feature!
--view all columns--


re: the little red obama

I'm glad someone's paying attention. Obama's biggest problem, I think, is PR.

re: how doing it can help the economy

Even though I'm ambivalent about it.

re: the cylon election?

The column I would have written on the subject. Great capture of the current national mindset... plus Cylons!

re: picking a spouse

absolute truth, and you would know. Thanks for this column!

re: picking a spouse

Brilliant observations, and proof that you have considerable common sense as well (particularly in your choice of wife)

re: no mosque, no mosque

Although I disagree with you, you make the kind of common sense argument I would have made on the other side. If political debate were more like this, we'd be in a lot better shape right now.

re: no mosque, no mosque

I would feel much more charitable towards the G.O.P. if they realized the absurd extent of their hypocrisy.

re: no mosque, no mosque

A little sanity. Thanks.

re: the men who stare at boobs

This. Is. Brilliant.

re: the men who stare at boobs

Funny and provocative. Title is once in a lifetime. Nice work, Jeff.


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